A fluffy girl walks into a gym...

I'm on my third or fourth week of making exercise a consistent part of my life. In Weight Watchers (WW) terms, that's equaled a minimum of 14 Activity Points (AP) a week. In layman terms, I basically shoot for 20 to 30 minutes of steady exercise most days. So far so good.

However, most of that activity has consisted of walking in my neighborhood with my dogs, and it is officially hot  and humid in the Houston area. Therefore, activity outside is not the same appealing option it was a few weeks ago. That means, I need to find options now as alternatives.

I haven't had a gym membership in close to five years. The last time I had one, I only got it because my BFF had one and committed to going with me as a workout buddy.

My insurance sent an email this week about a new Fitness Program for just $25 a month and access to a variety of of gyms. A good deal with gyms in their program are in my neighborhood? SCORE! I was actually excited to sign up AND excited to go workout (in air conditioning). You need only to look back at my previous posts on exercise to know I'm not exactly a fan, so being excited here is completely new to me! Praise the Lord!

I had two meetings at church after work that night, so I rushed home from work, changed into semi-decent workout attire, filled a water bottle, grabbed a sweat towel, and headed to church for my meetings. I was on track for success. It wasn't until I started walking out of the church that I started having doubts.

I started thinking that maybe it would be a good idea to just go drop the paperwork off at the gym and go back in the morning for a workout. I told myself to get in the car and drive over there, but with every block I drove, my insecurity monitor went higher and higher. Excuses started playing in my head. Fears came to the surface. By the time I pulled into the parking lot, I had made up my mind that I would only go in if the parking lot wasn't crowded. It was crowded, but not full by any means. Plus, the gym is in a shopping center, so the cars could have been for any number of businesses there. Then I decided to watch the people traffic to see if anybody looked remotely like me and not some insanely gorgeous skinny chics in tight yoga pants and sports bras or body builder guys in spandex. There were a few guys who could bench press me, but most of the people coming and going were families who had just worked out together and a lot of older white guys with large bellies who looked like they were about to have heart attacks. My kind of exercise buddies.

Still, I drove around the parking lot for a full 10 minutes trying to convince myself that I shouldn't go in. Why?! I was scared of how others would stare at me or judge me as too fat to be there or just plain laugh at me. Then it hit me... I'm a funny gal who loves to laugh. I spend most days at work making people laugh and enjoying people's good humor. If the worst thing that happens is that I make someone else laugh today by going in that gym, is it really so bad? Plus, if I go home now, I have an entire evening ahead of me with zero items on my to-do list. That means I will literally end up on the couch for the next four hours. Is it really worth skipping a workout to be who I used to be, Couch Potato Kerri? No. And to boot, that Kerri does NOT glorify God.

So you may have heard this joke before. A fluffy girl walks into a gym... And guess what... The punchline didn't change. She still just worked out and life went on.

That's right. I pulled up my big girl panties, grabbed my ipod and exercise necessities and walked into the gym. Nobody looked my way. Nobody told me that I didn't belong there. Nobody rolled their eyes when they saw me approaching the treadmills next to them. Nobody cared! I was just another person doing my thing.

That's when I realized that every fear and excuse I had told myself in the parking lot wasn't just Satan trying to defeat me; I was trying to defeat myself. My flesh. Every pound of this fluffy flesh that I've earned bite by fattening bite does not want me to succeed. So it's up to the fluffy child of God inside me to take the lead and push through.

Why?

Because I'm worth way more than that. I am worthy of fearlessness. I am able to do ALL things. And I have the scars of a Savior who overcame death itself to prove it.

I walked out of that gym a little sweatier and with my head held a lot higher. No fear. And all I could say was, "Praise you, Lord. All things really ARE possible in Christ!"

What's keeping you in the proverbial "parking lot" instead of inside doing the work, whatever that may be? If it's fear or insecurity, you deserve better. Go get it!

Faithfully, fluffully His,