declaring battle and waging war

Why is my new blog called, "Battle Cry of a Fluffy Girl," you might ask. Well, you can read from my first post to find out why "fluffy" has significance in my life. Now let me explain my battle tactics and perspective.

Beth Moore, a Christian author and speaker extraordinaire, made a statement in her last Bible study that stuck with me and challenged me to the extreme. She told us to "declare war" on our sin and struggles because that is the only way we will ever truly overcome them.

You can read and underline in your Bible and devotionals all day long. But unless you allow God's Word to actually change you, what good is it? If you don't walk away different, what is the point?

At the time I took that study, back in January and all through February, her wise counsel to declare war rung out in my heart and mind over and over. It still does. Here's why...

Back in December, I decided that I would take my fluffy rear back to Weight Watchers. I had done the program before and lost a little weight, but fell off the wagon right back onto my fluffy rear, just as I had done on countless other programs throughout most of my adult life. I own more specialized cookbooks, infomercial DVD sets, and elastic strengthening bands than a hyperactive personal trainer. The result thus far: I was the largest and most unhealthy than I'd ever been in my life. Miserable to my core.

I decided that this time would be different. I say that every time I try to lose weight, of course, so what would really make this time different? What would make ME different?

I decided that this time, I would see my overweight condition and the habits, mindsets, and attitudes that got me to there for what they really were: sin and sin-producing enablers. I can blame family members and schoolmates for treating me poorly and calling me names, and friends for taking me to the fattiest restaurants to celebrate special occasions, but they didn't put food in my mouth. I can blame my emotions and the fact that I'm a woman on every calorie ingested, but other women in this world do just fine on carrots instead of chocolate. There's no way on earth that I can retain this much water. Get real.

The real issue is this: I am a sinful person saved by grace, but I have not chosen to live by grace. Instead, I've chosen:

• Pity parties over victory dances
• Miserable mentalities over edifying encounters
• Unsatisfying stand-ins over the life-sustaining Spirit
• Weakness as a shield over faith as my fortress

For that, and so much more, there is truthfully no excuse. The battle I'm fighting is not a battle of my fatty tissue or flesh, it's a battle deep down in my soul. How can I expect to defeat flesh if I fight with the strength I have in the very flesh that is against me?

I can't. Only God can win this war. This is His battle to sanctify me, not to make me skinny. While I desire a smaller size in my flesh, He desires to expand His space in my life and heart to overflowing.

Bring it on, Lord!!

Therefore, I declared war on myself. So far, God has dropped over 30 pounds out of my life and filled my Spirit with a greater awareness of Him in all that I do. PRAISE GOD ALONE!

Let me assure you, I'm nowhere near where I should be... spiritually or physically. I took 32 years to get this "fluffy," and it will take a very long time to get healthy. Thank goodness I have a Savior sweet enough to stick by me for the long haul. He set eternity in our hearts, not our flesh, and it's the heart of me that is shedding the most undesirable pieces to make room for more of Him.

So, if you find this blog and care to share the journey with me, know that the ultimate victory is way better than skinny jeans!

Here are some things that are helping me:

• Journaling: I've never been very good at keeping a diary, but I decided that I needed to write down how horrible I felt in the beginning in order to see the victories along the way. So I wrote down why I was declaring war, and once or twice a week I jot down how things are going, good and bad. Today, I re-read my journal entry from the first day and can already see victories. Praise God!
• "Made to Crave Devotional" by Lysa TerKeurst: It's been a great source of insight to the spiritual side of this battle. It's a 60-day book, but I read one day a week, or more if needed, just to keep me in check. Then I add any phrases or nuggets of wisdom from that day's devo to my journal. Writing those words gives them more weight and helps me to think about them more throughout the day and week.
• Wearing a pedometer: I genuinely loathe exercise. However, since I bought a pedometer, I have slowly but surely increased my activity on a daily basis. Just wearing it is a reminder at the office to get up and stretch my legs, go for a short walk at lunch, go get another glass of water. It has really changed my mindset on activity. Having a more active day does not require hours in the gym or long walks in the heat. 
• Weight Watchers: Going to the meetings gives me a accountability each week as well a positive environment to share victories and struggles. 
• Weight Watchers eTools: They come with my membership, but are totally worth getting on their own. Recipe Builder tool to help figure out what I'm cooking at home, ideas for cooking and activities, etc.
• Committed Friends: I have friends doing the program with me, which makes going to the meetings even better. Plus, we can talk during the week to stay on track or share ideas for success. 
• Family Praying for Me: I have two awesome parents who know the struggles I have and love me right through them with words of encouragement and prayer. Knowing they are praying for God's best in my life helps me stay on track. Find someone to pray for you besides yourself!

I'll keep you posted if I find any other resources to help me on my journey.

Faithfully, fluffully yours,